why is love so hard. why can't i just go through something so smoothly. why did i fall in love in the first place. why is it that when love is easy, i want it to be hard. why is it that iffah is so ego and i am not. why is it that i don't know what to do. i don't know what to do.
i know what i want. i want you. as i am typing this, i know i want you but i feel so shadowed. my thoughts are so blur why is it so hard to just decide. why is it that love is wasted when we've gone so far. why is it that you still love the one who hurts you the most. why is it that makes us fight so much. why do all our good memories disappear just like that because of anger. underneath jealousy is anger. and underneath anger is love.
life ain't easy.
haha. cute or what??
okay, i finally get to go online. work is a bitch and i'm gaining weight. look at my cheeks. like kueh pau.
so let's go.
life.
one word. suay.
i went to school today only to find out my UT was tomorrow. -_-. teehee...
and the funny thing about this week was that while i was on break from work, i walked around watsons and guardian. and twice this week, i get people asking me where to find lotion la, facial spray la. the first time it happened i didn't mind because i was wearing a black plain collar shirt. look like manager ah konon. different from my staff la kan. but the second time, i got starbucks logo tau. big big tau. still can ask. that means my next job is going to be at watsons or guardian. make me laugh out loud ah. and laugh out loud is not lol. lol.
ok next. work.
i am at starbucks right now.
see. theodore above the pastry case.
by going to attachment, i learnt to love my store. felt so homesick at tanglin. which reminds me of my next topic.
my bestfriend.
you ego ah you ah. come hold my hand. update blog then delete. yes, i miss my bestfriend. later holiday must must go out. don't care must must. you ego you.
ok byebye.
need to clean my room.
my first attachment at bukit timah was cool. although i was somehow lost and lost it and some sort when i reached there it was kind of worthwhile. i wasn't even that late. the partners was crazy. cracking "yo' mama so fat" jokes in chinese accent.
like:
yo mama so fat that when she tried to send her pants for drycleaning, they said, "sorry no curtains".
yo mama so fat that when she tried to take her passport photo, they had to use a satellite.
yo mama so fat that when she tried to upload her picture, it took 3 days.
moving on.
life is still as it always is. i have learnt that the past is not supposed to haunt you of your past mistakes but to show you how far you've come. like if you compare me 2 years ago and now, obviously i have gotten stronger mentally, physically and emotionally.*wink wink at iffah*.
okay byebye.
i'm hungry.
"it's either people come and go, or i have to come and go."
words that don't make cents. sense. scents. heee
and...
knock knock
who's there
nobody
...
.... it can't be nobody. somebody knocked on my door.
make me laugh so hard. thank you bukit timah.
you were a victim of my crimes.
a product of my rage.
you were a beautiful distraction.
i kept you locked away outside.
let misery provide.
and now i am ashamed.
and so i walk to try to find some space.
where i can be alone to live with my mistakes.
and the fear that will come
from knowing that the one thing i had left was you.
and now you're gone.
i'm real sorry for what the past has made me. underneath me trying to be independant and strong, i'm also paranoid and insecure. everybody has their weaknesses and you just got me there. i know the way i react makes you confuse but all i can say is that you're not me. you've never been through what i have been through. i know trust is what i should be doing right now but it's not that easy when the past keeps replaying in my head over and over again. never have i met such a useless bitch.
and i could use a little strength before i fall.
if only i could have him.
wow you gorgeous man.
relationship with mum is getting awful day by day by day. sometimes i think i'm going to lose it. my world is all bad luck. sial here and there. i broke the tazo bottle. my leo is banned because didn't pay sch fees. i lost money. what the heck. i thought of taking a break and then my shift from 3 turn to 5. wah. can die ah. but
whatever. i practically lost my school already right.
i need to scream.
moving on, the lovely person up there who looks so much like jason mraz, in my opinion, is Diego Luna. i love his name. sighhh..in other words...in other words... i love you...
like an apple on a tree
hiding out behind the leaves,
i was difficult to reach
but you picked me.
like a shell upon a beach
just another pretty piece.
i was difficult to see
but you picked me.
yeah, you picked me.
yeah. i finally found the song i heard at work. and i'm working tomorrow. during countdown. sucks big time.
- sometimes they say i act rather childish and you are the mature one. and i agree with that. but this one, you know how i am when i'm mad. if you're really stupid enough, seriously. go on. i work my butt off and leave no time for myself. and the time i do have, i spend it with you. i don't know what else you want me to prove to you. i seriously don't! open up your fucking eyes! i already sacrifice a lot for you. kau nak ikutkan perasaan sekarang kau punye pasal lah. i seriously give up!
bukan ape uh, but i always try to help people when i can but when i need help, i just can't rely on anybody. fuck la eh. it's not as if i ask a lot and i've always paid back btw. i know if i help people i'm not supposed to ask for anything in return, but please la eh, when i need help just be there. fuck you people. it's things like this that make me say i never want to help ever again.
sial.
there is a stain on the mug
and i annoyingly tried to wipe it off
thinking it was my laptop screen. bummer...
christmas at work was fine. felt like any other ordinary day everyday.
my life is a bore and i could see myself complaining more and more day by day.
i am and never used to be like this. i know. maybe. whatever.
mum is annoyingly cranky and i just found out why.
haish.
maybe i should start enjoying life.
i want to take off and sit down.
i am sorry for putting work first. i neglected my family, my best friend, my boyfriend, my health, my sleep, my studies and so much more.
i'm about to lose a lot of people, because i am drifting too far.
- love.
used to think nothing could bring us down. i can laugh my heart out with you. you make me the happiest yet you think other people are what i want. i can't believe you can't see that. you don't trust me and that's why this can't work. maybe truth is we can never stay together. we tried so many times. i waited for my off day to spend time with you and you ruined it.
i seriously don't want to think anymore because i know it's going to make me break down.
so. apparently, my brain is dead now.
sheek is at my house now.
trying to make her fat feeding her every now and then.
yay we had a sleepover.
i even cleaned my room just for her.
too bad epah not here.
muchas gracias.
why is love so hard. why can't i just go through something so smoothly. why did i fall in love in the first place. why is it that when love is easy, i want it to be hard. why is it that iffah is so ego and i am not. why is it that i don't know what to do. i don't know what to do.
i know what i want. i want you. as i am typing this, i know i want you but i feel so shadowed. my thoughts are so blur why is it so hard to just decide. why is it that love is wasted when we've gone so far. why is it that you still love the one who hurts you the most. why is it that makes us fight so much. why do all our good memories disappear just like that because of anger. underneath jealousy is anger. and underneath anger is love.
life ain't easy.
haha. cute or what??
okay, i finally get to go online. work is a bitch and i'm gaining weight. look at my cheeks. like kueh pau.
so let's go.
life.
one word. suay.
i went to school today only to find out my UT was tomorrow. -_-. teehee...
and the funny thing about this week was that while i was on break from work, i walked around watsons and guardian. and twice this week, i get people asking me where to find lotion la, facial spray la. the first time it happened i didn't mind because i was wearing a black plain collar shirt. look like manager ah konon. different from my staff la kan. but the second time, i got starbucks logo tau. big big tau. still can ask. that means my next job is going to be at watsons or guardian. make me laugh out loud ah. and laugh out loud is not lol. lol.
ok next. work.
i am at starbucks right now.
see. theodore above the pastry case.
by going to attachment, i learnt to love my store. felt so homesick at tanglin. which reminds me of my next topic.
my bestfriend.
you ego ah you ah. come hold my hand. update blog then delete. yes, i miss my bestfriend. later holiday must must go out. don't care must must. you ego you.
ok byebye.
need to clean my room.
my first attachment at bukit timah was cool. although i was somehow lost and lost it and some sort when i reached there it was kind of worthwhile. i wasn't even that late. the partners was crazy. cracking "yo' mama so fat" jokes in chinese accent.
like:
yo mama so fat that when she tried to send her pants for drycleaning, they said, "sorry no curtains".
yo mama so fat that when she tried to take her passport photo, they had to use a satellite.
yo mama so fat that when she tried to upload her picture, it took 3 days.
moving on.
life is still as it always is. i have learnt that the past is not supposed to haunt you of your past mistakes but to show you how far you've come. like if you compare me 2 years ago and now, obviously i have gotten stronger mentally, physically and emotionally.*wink wink at iffah*.
okay byebye.
i'm hungry.
"it's either people come and go, or i have to come and go."
words that don't make cents. sense. scents. heee
and...
knock knock
who's there
nobody
...
.... it can't be nobody. somebody knocked on my door.
make me laugh so hard. thank you bukit timah.
you were a victim of my crimes.
a product of my rage.
you were a beautiful distraction.
i kept you locked away outside.
let misery provide.
and now i am ashamed.
and so i walk to try to find some space.
where i can be alone to live with my mistakes.
and the fear that will come
from knowing that the one thing i had left was you.
and now you're gone.
i'm real sorry for what the past has made me. underneath me trying to be independant and strong, i'm also paranoid and insecure. everybody has their weaknesses and you just got me there. i know the way i react makes you confuse but all i can say is that you're not me. you've never been through what i have been through. i know trust is what i should be doing right now but it's not that easy when the past keeps replaying in my head over and over again. never have i met such a useless bitch.
and i could use a little strength before i fall.
if only i could have him.
wow you gorgeous man.
relationship with mum is getting awful day by day by day. sometimes i think i'm going to lose it. my world is all bad luck. sial here and there. i broke the tazo bottle. my leo is banned because didn't pay sch fees. i lost money. what the heck. i thought of taking a break and then my shift from 3 turn to 5. wah. can die ah. but
whatever. i practically lost my school already right.
i need to scream.
moving on, the lovely person up there who looks so much like jason mraz, in my opinion, is Diego Luna. i love his name. sighhh..in other words...in other words... i love you...
like an apple on a tree
hiding out behind the leaves,
i was difficult to reach
but you picked me.
like a shell upon a beach
just another pretty piece.
i was difficult to see
but you picked me.
yeah, you picked me.
yeah. i finally found the song i heard at work. and i'm working tomorrow. during countdown. sucks big time.
- sometimes they say i act rather childish and you are the mature one. and i agree with that. but this one, you know how i am when i'm mad. if you're really stupid enough, seriously. go on. i work my butt off and leave no time for myself. and the time i do have, i spend it with you. i don't know what else you want me to prove to you. i seriously don't! open up your fucking eyes! i already sacrifice a lot for you. kau nak ikutkan perasaan sekarang kau punye pasal lah. i seriously give up!
bukan ape uh, but i always try to help people when i can but when i need help, i just can't rely on anybody. fuck la eh. it's not as if i ask a lot and i've always paid back btw. i know if i help people i'm not supposed to ask for anything in return, but please la eh, when i need help just be there. fuck you people. it's things like this that make me say i never want to help ever again.
sial.
there is a stain on the mug
and i annoyingly tried to wipe it off
thinking it was my laptop screen. bummer...
christmas at work was fine. felt like any other ordinary day everyday.
my life is a bore and i could see myself complaining more and more day by day.
i am and never used to be like this. i know. maybe. whatever.
mum is annoyingly cranky and i just found out why.
haish.
maybe i should start enjoying life.
i want to take off and sit down.
i am sorry for putting work first. i neglected my family, my best friend, my boyfriend, my health, my sleep, my studies and so much more.
i'm about to lose a lot of people, because i am drifting too far.
- love.
used to think nothing could bring us down. i can laugh my heart out with you. you make me the happiest yet you think other people are what i want. i can't believe you can't see that. you don't trust me and that's why this can't work. maybe truth is we can never stay together. we tried so many times. i waited for my off day to spend time with you and you ruined it.
i seriously don't want to think anymore because i know it's going to make me break down.
so. apparently, my brain is dead now.
sheek is at my house now.
trying to make her fat feeding her every now and then.
luna.
i live by my mood. i don't even understand myself.
i adopt trees because i love jason mraz.
and jason mraz loves the world.
and i love whatever jason mraz love.
and jason mraz love his fans.
so jason mraz loves me.
and i love everything jason mraz loves.
so i love me.
hi. this is ira.
